What is Play Therapy (and Why It Works So Well for Kids)

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering what play therapy actually is and whether it’s right for your child. You might have heard that it’s “just playing with toys,” but I promise there’s so much more happening beneath the surface.

I’m Cassie Robertson, a child and teen therapist here at PlayWorks Therapy for Children & Teens in Wilmington, NC. In addition to my Bachelor's degree (in English & Psychology) and my Master's degree (Social Work), I completed a Post-Graduate Certificate in Play Therapy at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke (UNCP).

Side note: For anyone interested in pursuing Play Therapy as a career, I highly recommend the program! You'll learn everything from the neuroscience of play to sand tray techniques. That education has helped me understand the importance of play. It was fascinating to learn big and small things, like what’s really happening when your child builds a tower, smashes it, and then builds again. (Spoiler: they're not mad - they’re learning resilience, control, and confidence!)

So... What Is Play Therapy?

Think of play as a child’s first language. Before children can explain complex thoughts or emotions, they act them out. They build, create, destroy, and rebuild to make sense of what’s happening in their world. According to the Association for Play Therapy, play therapy helps children express feelings, develop problem-solving skills, and process experiences in a way that feels natural and safe.

At PlayWorks, play therapy isn’t a free-for-all of toys and crafts; It’s a structured, evidence-based process rooted in neuroscience and attachment theory. I use models like Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT), AutPlay Therapy, and Synergetic Play Therapy. These approaches help children regulate their nervous systems, strengthen relationships, and build internal confidence.

The Four Universal Outcomes of Play Therapy

Every child’s therapy looks different, but certain outcomes consistently emerge. They're known as the four universal outcomes. These are based on research in Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) and have been observed across decades of practice.

1. Increased Regulation

Kids who start therapy often have big emotional ups and downs. They might go from calm to furious in seconds, or cry one moment and laugh the next. Through play therapy, those spikes start to level out. I often tell the interns at PlayWorks that play therapy is like a pendulum - it allows children to explore the extremes of different emotions, slowly helping them land somewhere in the middle through increased regulation. As children learn to regulate, their emotions begin to feel more like gentle waves instead of crashing storms. They start to control their responses instead of being controlled by them!

2. Expanded Worldview

Before about age 12, children live mostly in the here and now. They’re driven by emotions and immediate experiences, not abstract reasoning. Play therapy gently expands that worldview. Kids start realizing that actions have consequences, that people have different perspectives, and that the world is bigger than their immediate emotions. This helps them pause before reacting and builds empathy, responsibility, and foresight.

3. Stronger Emotional Labelling

If you’ve ever asked your child, “Why did you do that?” and gotten a blank stare or “I don’t know,” this one’s for you. Most kids don’t come equipped with the language to describe their feelings. Or, even if theyt have an impressive vocabulary, they don't know how to apply certain words to themselves. In the playroom, kids learn to name emotions as they experience them. When a tower falls, I might reflect, “You feel frustrated.” When a puppet feels scared, we talk about fear. Over time, they connect words to experiences, giving them the power to express needs before they explode. Instead of hitting or shutting down, they'll be able to say “I feel overwhelmed,” or “I need a break.”

4. Increased Self-Esteem and Confidence

As children begin to regulate, understand their world, and express emotions clearly, their confidence naturally grows. They start to believe, “I can handle this” when faced with a challenge. They trust themselves to solve problems and face challenges. While a child plays I focus on building their self-esteem through consistent, strength based messaging. Sometimes it sounds like "You can do hard things", while other times it's a simple "you know when to ask for help". This newfound confidence eventually spreads to every area of their life - friendships, schoolwork, and family interactions! They move from thinking, “What if I can’t?” to “Even if it’s hard, I'll know what to do.”

The Stages of Play Therapy

Play therapy isn’t random. It follows a natural rhythm of growth that unfolds through several recognizable stages. These stages often overlap and repeat, and that’s normal, after all, healing isn’t a straight line.

Here’s what to expect along the way:

1. The Initiation Stage (Building Safety and Trust)

The first 4–6 sessions are about comfort and connection. Children explore the playroom, test limits, and learn the “rules” of this special space. Some dive right in, while others hang back, quietly observing until they feel safe. During this stage, I focus on building trust, showing your child that this is a place where they can be fully themselves.

You might notice your child becoming calmer or more talkative at home during this time. They’re beginning to feel relief simply from being understood and accepted. This stage lays the foundation for everything else.

2. The Resistance or Testing Stage

Once safety is established, many children begin to push back a little. This is actually a good sign. It means they feel safe enough to test boundaries and explore difficult emotions. You might notice an increase in emotional outbursts, a stronger need for control, or even resistance to coming to therapy. These behaviors signal that deeper work is happening.

Your child is beginning to confront uncomfortable feelings and patterns, learning how to manage frustration, disappointment, and fear in new ways. They’re practicing emotional regulation in real time — and it can be messy. Staying consistent with therapy and supportive at home during this stage makes a huge difference.

3. The Growth and Working Stage

This is where transformation really starts to shine. Your child begins to integrate what they’ve been learning in sessions. You’ll likely notice improved self-regulation, fewer meltdowns, and more flexible problem-solving. They might start using coping skills independently or express emotions with new confidence.

Sometimes you’ll see temporary regressions — a few steps back before another big leap forward. That’s completely normal. The brain is literally rewiring during this stage, and old habits sometimes resurface before the new ones fully stick. Stay patient and celebrate progress, not perfection.

4. The Termination and Integration Stage

When your child has consistently met their goals and shows stability across settings — home, school, and friendships — it’s time to begin wrapping up. This can be both exciting and emotional. Many kids view therapy as a special relationship, so closure is important and intentional. We’ll review what your child has learned, celebrate their progress, and help them practice saying goodbye in a healthy, empowered way.

Some families gradually space out sessions — shifting from weekly to biweekly or monthly “check-ins” — to ensure the changes hold. And even after therapy ends, you’re always welcome to return for booster sessions. Sometimes kids ask to come back during transitions like starting a new school year, welcoming a sibling, or coping with loss. That’s not regression — it’s maintenance and growth.

What Parents Can Expect

You’re an essential part of your child’s therapeutic journey. I typically meet with parents every five or six sessions for updates, feedback, and parenting support. These check-ins help bridge what’s happening in the playroom with what’s happening at home. I’ll share themes and insights (without breaking your child’s confidentiality) so you feel informed and supported too.

You can expect me to:

• Create a consistent, nurturing environment where your child feels safe to explore

• Use evidence-based interventions designed specifically for your child’s needs

• Maintain open communication with you about progress and goals

• Provide strategies for home that align with what we’re building in therapy

Why PlayWorks?

At PlayWorks, therapy isn’t about fixing children, it’s about helping them rediscover their strengths and building new skills. Our approach blends heart, science, and creativity. Play therapy offers children the chance to express, process, and grow in a way that feels natural to them. Whether your child is struggling with anxiety, ADHD, grief, anger, or just needs help managing big feelings, play therapy can help them feel more confident, connected, and understood.

Healing doesn’t always look serious. Sometimes it looks like a puppet show, a sandcastle, or a game of pretend — and within that play, real change is happening.

Ready to take the next step? Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or your child’s first session. Let’s help your child grow, connect, and heal - one playful session at a time!